Life is Hilarious

Disclaimer: This post is rated PG-13 today because of one delicate word.

My Woman says that her rough week from H-E-double-hockeysticks is over. However, she won't tell me who this Mr. double-hockeysticks fellow is so I can go claw him. I've been wanting to try out my latest "DEATH FROM ABOVE!" meowneuver.

First, her Aunt Margaret died on Monday. While this is very sad, Margaret has been fighting the cancer and mommy says it's good that she stopped suffering. So mommy had to leave us lots to go to the funeral and wake and family stuff.

Second, she had already made plans to go camping with her friend Melody and her family this weekend, so she looked forward to getting away with my daddy for a little bit. Melody has an almost-2 year old named Matthew and an almost-9 year old named Joanna.

Here's mommy setting up camp. I wonder what that blur is? I'll bet it's a ghost! She says she kept threatening Melody that she'd tell zombie ghost stories.

They also took a train! She says there were oddly painted statues of bears, cougars, zebra and turkeys all living in harmony in the forest. Until they got to the tunnel of circus animals hanging from the ceiling by their necks. She still doesn't understand that one.

At the camp's water feature, little Matthew decided he was going to go insane on the fountains. He liked to try to divert the water by stickin' out his belleh. Not pictured: He kept sticking his face into the shoots of water and the snot went a-flyin'. Even strangers were doubled over with laughter.

Here's the pg-13 part. At the campfire, Joanna sat next to momma and began singing that song, "You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel." I know that mommy likes that song too, but it's not really great for a 9 year old... so my woman tried to explain that the song was dirty and Joanna should be careful about singing it. "What's 'dirty' mean?" was Jo's reply. "Um, that means it's raunchy," mommy tried to explain. "It's about sex." "What's sex?" Jo asked inquisitively.

"Oh shoot," mommy thought. "That's for Melody to explain in several years." So mommy said, "Ask your mom," thinking that Joanna would ask later when no one else was around. No such luck. Joanna could be heard throughout the campground yelling, "MOM, WHAT'S SEX?"

Mommy turned to daddy, not sure what to do. His face was red from laughter. Later that night, they slept on hard rocks and kept waking up because the tent advertised itself as being 5'x6' on the box but was more like 5'x4' in reality.

It was apparently a great trip.

Anyway, I am so mad that she went camping without me. I even got an award from that most byootiful of girl cats, Tesla!

Ohhh, my heart goes pitter-patter whenever I sees her. We has so much in common: She was named after a famous inventor, I was named after a name in a famous Styx song. She's creative, I'm creative. She says, "Mommeh, I kill yoo" while I say "Geez woman! I gonna live with gramma!" or something like that.

I would like to give this award to Aunty Caitlin over at little animals and to Mr. Hendrix for being so cool.