Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Life is Hilarious

Disclaimer: This post is rated PG-13 today because of one delicate word.

My Woman says that her rough week from H-E-double-hockeysticks is over. However, she won't tell me who this Mr. double-hockeysticks fellow is so I can go claw him. I've been wanting to try out my latest "DEATH FROM ABOVE!" meowneuver.

First, her Aunt Margaret died on Monday. While this is very sad, Margaret has been fighting the cancer and mommy says it's good that she stopped suffering. So mommy had to leave us lots to go to the funeral and wake and family stuff.
Second, she had already made plans to go camping with her friend Melody and her family this weekend, so she looked forward to getting away with my daddy for a little bit. Melody has an almost-2 year old named Matthew and an almost-9 year old named Joanna.

Here's mommy setting up camp. I wonder what that blur is? I'll bet it's a ghost! She says she kept threatening Melody that she'd tell zombie ghost stories.

They also took a train! She says there were oddly painted statues of bears, cougars, zebra and turkeys all living in harmony in the forest. Until they got to the tunnel of circus animals hanging from the ceiling by their necks. She still doesn't understand that one.

At the camp's water feature, little Matthew decided he was going to go insane on the fountains. He liked to try to divert the water by stickin' out his belleh. Not pictured: He kept sticking his face into the shoots of water and the snot went a-flyin'. Even strangers were doubled over with laughter.

Here's the pg-13 part. At the campfire, Joanna sat next to momma and began singing that song, "You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel." I know that mommy likes that song too, but it's not really great for a 9 year old... so my woman tried to explain that the song was dirty and Joanna should be careful about singing it. "What's 'dirty' mean?" was Jo's reply. "Um, that means it's raunchy," mommy tried to explain. "It's about sex." "What's sex?" Jo asked inquisitively.

"Oh shoot," mommy thought. "That's for Melody to explain in several years." So mommy said, "Ask your mom," thinking that Joanna would ask later when no one else was around. No such luck. Joanna could be heard throughout the campground yelling, "MOM, WHAT'S SEX?"

Mommy turned to daddy, not sure what to do. His face was red from laughter. Later that night, they slept on hard rocks and kept waking up because the tent advertised itself as being 5'x6' on the box but was more like 5'x4' in reality.

It was apparently a great trip.

Anyway, I am so mad that she went camping without me. I even got an award from that most byootiful of girl cats, Tesla!

Ohhh, my heart goes pitter-patter whenever I sees her. We has so much in common: She was named after a famous inventor, I was named after a name in a famous Styx song. She's creative, I'm creative. She says, "Mommeh, I kill yoo" while I say "Geez woman! I gonna live with gramma!" or something like that.

I would like to give this award to Aunty Caitlin over at little animals and to Mr. Hendrix for being so cool.


Daisy said...

That sounds like a very fun, and very hilarious trip! That's the best kind.

ps: I am so glad you and Tesla are an item. She is a great kitteh!

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

wow! your beans had a very busy weekend. i'm very sorry about her aunt. even tho she is at peace, it is sad for those left behind.

i'm very glad you and Tesla are a couple! i think that is perfect! thank you so much for the cool cat award. i'll post it soon!

goldenshade said...

What a week!! That camping trip sounds like a real woot!!!!

Congrats on the award and so sorry to hear about your momma's Aunt.

Goldie and Shade

Tesla said...


Yoo iz so nice sazin such nice sings bout mez!

I blush!

I gots da best booycatfurrend eveh!



Sabrina, Sam and Simon said...

Kilroy, we are so sorry about your Mom's Aunt Margaret, but she is right, it is sometimes best when they don't have to suffer anymore. That is how us and Momma and Daddy felt when our Grandpa died on New Year's Day after suffering a massive stroke. The camping trip did sound like a lot of fun, except for your Mommy and Daddy having to sleep in a too small tent on rocks! The kid beans are cute too ... but mentioning the S-E-X word was probably not a good thing ... hee hee! Congrats on your award, you deserve it!
Purrs and headbutts,
Sabrina, Sam and Simon

Camie's Kitties said...

That sounds like your mama had a great time on her camping trip. Those are the best kind to have.

Tiki, Tavi, Cody, Camie and Miss Jade

PB 'n J said...

That sure was a funny story!!!

And Concatulations on your award - you totally deserve it (and Tesla, she's pawesom!)!!!

Tesla said...

Sank yoo fur lightin candles wif meh. I will be doin dis all weekend long.


I hope yoo join ins!

Caitlin said...

ThAnks Tr4cy!!! :):):)
Eeeeh, 4w4rds! I h4ve 4 d4nce perform4nce tommorrow where i d4nce 4round like 4 cow.

Angus Mhor said...

You are soooo fonny! One of the Sticky Kids did that "belleh in the water spray" thing, too, and my mom was laffin' and laffin'!

By the way...



Gattina said...

Hahaha ! I hope at least you know what this word means !!

Tybalt said...

Sounds like your mommy had quite the trip, Kilroy!

Tesla is indeed a cutie. ;)

JB's Big World said...

That looks like a great trip camping. You and Tesla are a couple? whoo hoo!
I am sorry I have not been around....we are still unpacking from our move and mom is sooo busy. Thanks for your visits and we hope to be back up to blogging very soon!

zevo hussein calamari said...

Your pet humans seem to be very busy. My pet human also said this was the week from h e double hockey sticks too..is it a human epidemic to complain about hockeysticks?


The Cat Realm said...

Congratulation on the award and thanks for the funny story!

Halloween said...

Hi kilroy! Thanks for visiting my blog. We are very sorry for the loss of your mom's aunt. That is very sad. But it looks like she is a good camper. My Food Dude noticed she seemed to know what she's doing!

Purrs, Halloween

Moki said...

We are so sorry to hear about your mom's Aunt Margaret. We'll keep you in our thoughts and prayers!

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

Hi Kilroy! Just popping in to see how things are going!

Sweet Praline said...

Congratulations on your award. It sounds like your mom had a great time on the camping trip.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

We hear your mom is having eye surgery, so we came by to leave some extra purrs and tail wags for her.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Hmmmmm. Your mom isn't having eye surgery. We're posting a comment on the CB to that effect, since that is where we read it. Think someone just confused blogs.

But if your mom was having eye surgery, we would certainly want her to be okay!

Victor Tabbycat said...

Mom says dat's one of those Great Moments in Parenting. She says one time, she was in a public litter box wif da boy an he had to stay wif her. She told him to face da door an not look, but he did look, an then he shouted out, "Mommy, what's that string for?"

Kids are sposed to embarrass der folks. Purrs!

The Cat Realm said...

Oh - so now we are confused.... We came to send purrs for your Mom's surgery - in case she is the one who has it... hahahahahaha