Monday, September 29, 2008

Macy's Byooty Korner

Hello everycat and welcomes to Macy's Byooty Korner! For this blogisode, we be discussing "How to Get your Beans' Attenshun."

Of course, we kitties knows that looking byootiful is a good way to get the beans' attenshuns, but there's more to it than just bein' cute!

Step 1: Be sure to grooms yourself regularly. If you be stinky, the beans will give you a BATH and that's the BAD kind of attenshun. Kilroy calls me stinky, but I prefers the term "aromatic." You see, I clean a LOT, despite what he says. If you are like me and have a lots of FLOOF, you unnerstand how much effort it takes to be byootiful!

Step 2: Posishun yourself where your beans will find you, but don't let them know that you planned it that way! When they ask things like, "Oh, Macy! What are you doing in my clothes drawer?", it's best to casually yawn and stretch as if to say, "Oh, I'm in your clothes drawer? Hmm, wonder how I got here. Oh well, you might as well gives me lufs now that I'm here!"

Step 3: Every now and then, you gotta show your beans just HOW cute you can get. The belleh is a good place to start, cuz beans just can't resist bellehs (I don't know why). *Sigh* As much as it pains me to do so, I must admits that I learned this move from Kilroy. You turn over onto your back, push your paws into the air and say, "Hey mommeh... LOOK AT MAH BELLEH!"

And then mommy becomes a mess of baby words. It's up to you to decide whether you would like to take those belleh rubs as attenshun or if you'd like to yootilize that opportunity to give the bitey to your bean's hand. I like to mix it up and keep my hooman on her toes - she never knows if I'm gonna bite or not!

Step 4: If none of that works (and your litterbox just happens to prong you in the butt), then pee everywhere. Your hoomans will definitely give you attenshun then.

On a last note, NEVER EVER let your beans be the boss. It be necessary to be firm with them because they has to be trained properly. It can take from a few weeks to a few years to break a hooman in, so remember to be gentle but firm! Mess with their minds, jump on their heads, scratch their sofas, and in no time you'll has good hooman servants to give plenties of attenshun.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I too sexah for my blog. Too sexah for my blog.

Momma had a photo shoot setup on daddy's desk (the one with all the crap in the windows, heehee) cuz she was taking pictures for their experimental eBay store. I loooove photo shoot setups (I always gotta crash 'em) and sat on the nice white cloth until mommy realized I was posing.

Here I is with my dreamy-eyed "looking into the distance" pose. I didn't even flinch when the flashy box hit me with its bright light.

And here's my "I'm looking at something interesting pose."

Oh my, I can pose almost as good as Daisy!

And finally, here's a side pose. Mommy likes this side view cuz it shows my muscular jowels (which my woman mistakenly refers to as "chubby cheeks," pfah!) and my long nose.

I hope Tesla likes these!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

We accepted the dare (oh mommy don't do this)

We are accepting the dare #4 from The Cat Realm (even though I told momma that she has a stoopid idea). So many kitties have such insightful posts about how they're helping the environment, from cutting up plastic rings to recycling garbage to not using disposable grocery bags.

Those ideas are great, and my beans are doing all that too. However, momma didn't want to copy anyone else's idea so she thought I should tell you all about... (oh mommy, please don't make me do this...)... how we're recycling... lawnmowers.

Yup. Lawnmowers. (Mommy, dis is so stoopid)

Mommy's crazy mean gramma is deciding to get rid of lotsa junk, so she demanded that my beans take some ancient lawnmowers off her hands.

So instead of trashing them, they're going to try to find new forever homes for them. Just like those of us who are recycled cats. I'm not a recycled pet cuz I'm a ditch cat that mommy was blessed to find as a very wee baby kitten. But the other aminals here are recycled pets who've found their forever home here.

P.S. Mommah put the lawnmowers up for grabs on Craigslist and titled each "Grandma's push mower" and "Grandma's riding mower". Mom thought she was being ironically funny. Now a buncha dorks are writing in with condescending comments like they think mom is 12 or something. Real smart, ma.

P.P.S. Oh crow! It's MEOW LIKE A PIRATE DAY! So I say... Meyarrr!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Thankful Thursday

I would like to first begin this post with a moment of love for Daisy and her family because of their recent loss. I meant to post this sooner.

For Thankful Thursday, I would like to blog about how Thankful I am that mommy got rid of that fashion disaster condo I USED to have and revamped it into something even better!
She bought an AWESOME carpetted kitty play thing (that thing in the corner) for $75 off Craigslist! What a deal! This thing is huge and we were all over it the moment she brought it home. Although it's got casters on it, she put it on a shelf so we'd have a better view point. It looks better in real life than it does in these pictures, cuz it actually fits into the room nicely.

Here's a side view. Our old floors look so messy, even though mommy cleans them everyday. We'll replace them someday. Anyway, you can see how my stuff (and Macy's stuff, ugh) is hidden underneath!

Both litterboxes are hidden, too. This has helped to control the smell and to keep the woofies out of them. Stoopid woofies.

However, she did put my water fountain on the ground (You can barely see it in either picture). Sometimes those stoopid woofies like to drink outta that, and then I gets woofie slobber in my water! Ew, momma, how could you? The Macy slobber was bad enough!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Hai everycat!

Hello everbuddy!

It's amazing... Mommy has a Sunday off now where she can let me blog. No helping friends and fambly members, no having to clean, no working... and that's good, cuz I'm super mad at her for not letting me visit all my blog friends lately. Thank you guys so much for visiting me, though.

1. (I like numbered lists) I gots an award from the byootiful and funny Tesla. Oh, she is the cat's meow (heh). I am learning much from her about how to handle mommies.

So I has to pass this onto 7 other kitties. This is hard, cuz there are so many great kitties out there! Tesla tagged many of the same ones I liked, so I am glad to offer this award to:

2. I thought I would share with some of you what I've been up to.

Here is a picture of Gramma snorgling me. I had to endure several Gramma Attacks over the past few weeks.

I also helped mommy ace her Human Development class. She's got about a 98 average. Go on, just ask her about Piaget's Cognitive Learning Theory, I dare ya! (She'd probably have to look it up, though).

Lastly, I bit mommy until she finished her second moovie script. This one is just weird. Maybe I bit mommy too hard. Here's the logline:

"'Sweet' is a comedy about a prissy young woman named Kate, who is anything but sweet. Her life is turned upside-down by a sugar substitute that turns people into living zombies and by a sexually harassing boss who is actually an eccentric alien bent on conquering the planet just to impress his dad."

Oh, it gets even weirder. So she finally registered this one with the WGA and now she's trying to market it and hopes that agents will laugh AT the script, not AT her. :) Perhaps I will post the whole synopsis later.

Anyway, momma has a break in September before she has to return to school FULL TIME. Gasp. I'll have sooo much snoopervising to do, especially when she eats at her desk.

I will talk to you great kittycats later! -Kilroy

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Wordless Whatday?