Monday, September 29, 2008

Macy's Byooty Korner

Hello everycat and welcomes to Macy's Byooty Korner! For this blogisode, we be discussing "How to Get your Beans' Attenshun."


Of course, we kitties knows that looking byootiful is a good way to get the beans' attenshuns, but there's more to it than just bein' cute!

Step 1: Be sure to grooms yourself regularly. If you be stinky, the beans will give you a BATH and that's the BAD kind of attenshun. Kilroy calls me stinky, but I prefers the term "aromatic." You see, I clean a LOT, despite what he says. If you are like me and have a lots of FLOOF, you unnerstand how much effort it takes to be byootiful!


Step 2: Posishun yourself where your beans will find you, but don't let them know that you planned it that way! When they ask things like, "Oh, Macy! What are you doing in my clothes drawer?", it's best to casually yawn and stretch as if to say, "Oh, I'm in your clothes drawer? Hmm, wonder how I got here. Oh well, you might as well gives me lufs now that I'm here!"


Step 3: Every now and then, you gotta show your beans just HOW cute you can get. The belleh is a good place to start, cuz beans just can't resist bellehs (I don't know why). *Sigh* As much as it pains me to do so, I must admits that I learned this move from Kilroy. You turn over onto your back, push your paws into the air and say, "Hey mommeh... LOOK AT MAH BELLEH!"

And then mommy becomes a mess of baby words. It's up to you to decide whether you would like to take those belleh rubs as attenshun or if you'd like to yootilize that opportunity to give the bitey to your bean's hand. I like to mix it up and keep my hooman on her toes - she never knows if I'm gonna bite or not!



Step 4: If none of that works (and your litterbox just happens to prong you in the butt), then pee everywhere. Your hoomans will definitely give you attenshun then.




On a last note, NEVER EVER let your beans be the boss. It be necessary to be firm with them because they has to be trained properly. It can take from a few weeks to a few years to break a hooman in, so remember to be gentle but firm! Mess with their minds, jump on their heads, scratch their sofas, and in no time you'll has good hooman servants to give plenties of attenshun.

13 Comments:

Daisy said...

Macy, that is some excellent advice. I am going to follow your plan!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

It is excellent advice. I can't believe your litterbox got you--that is so not okay!

Aoise said...

Tip top advice that all us felines should follow. I fink I haf got miewmie kind of half twained. Its hard werk!!

Kellie The Orange Cat said...

Oh Macy, that bellah shot is adorable. Could you hear my Mum ooohing and ahhhhing over it? She wanted to snorgle your tummy so badly!

Tesla said...

Dat iz gud advices! Dis mernin mommeh waz SO mad at mez, acaz when daddeh's alarm went off i waz jumpin on an off da bed mao mao moa maoooooooooin. She waz SO mad.

But den meh stoopid sandbox lid made me mad (plus stoopid mommeh) so i RIPPED da door off an i threw it across da floors an mommeh came an petted an petted meh.

Bad attenshun- i got a baf on frideh. I didna like it. At alls.

Tesla said...

btw... mommeh's furrend liked yoor names. Ares and Athena it is!

Caitlin said...

w4444h, i miss you 4nd your be4ns :(:(:(:( it's 4ll the sexy j4p4nese boyfriend's f4ult :(:(:(

goldenshade said...

Macy, you are one fine apricot kitty!!!!

Those are very good tips, I will try to perfect my moves!

Purrs, Goldie

The Crew said...

Very informative, Macy. BTW, your tummy looks fantastic.

Quasi said...

This is truly excellent advice. I especially like the "possibility of a bitey during a tummy rub" scenario to keep the humans on their toes.

JB's Big World said...

Macy, this is a very good post! Great advice!
My sister, PooPoo, says she will use the word aromatic next time mom says she stinks.
--JB

Gandalf and Grayson said...

Macy, you are very wise! The belly pose gets everybuddy every time!

Anita said...

An authentic lesson of feline domination, muahahahahaha!!!